Long Read - Different Directions

Current year - 2018

Checked the draft box and saw there are 2 posts that were not published.
Did a quick read on the 2 posts and somewhat it talks about similar topic: Marriage & Settling Down.

Instead of cracking my brain to come up with more content, why don't I just combine both of them! Such a brilliant and smart idea :-)

I can't remember exactly how long ago I had drafted both posts but my instinct is telling me it could be easily 2 years ago. One major hint is there was an assignment due but being the clever person that I am, I came on blogspot to type away instead of utilizing the brain for the more urgent task on hand.

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1st Draft Post


Assignments.. Assignments.. Assignments..

As I'm typing this, I'm listening to Alyah's Kisah Hati (love her dresses in this MV, Remy!!) Alright enough of the sidetrack :)

Actually my brain is stopping its supposed task of continuous typing for an assignment due this Friday. 750 words and I'm only 130 words done. Still a long way to go I know..
Yet, I need to stop as it's past 1am plus I'm working tomorrow plus I really need to sleep. So why am I still typing here?!

Actually, it just came to my mind that at this stage most of my peers including cousins whom are settling down while there are a few waiting anxiously to be a new mom/dad. Yet, here I am chasing books, assignments, attending night classes. So it dawned on me that the pathway we chose, I chose and am currently on actually, seem to be different from the rest.

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2nd Draft Post


Been thinking about this lately. Not often but sometimes this thought does visit me time and then especially since I'm getting older..

Reaching 30 in couple of years. The BIG 30. Not sure what is so big about it actually.
Never heard of the BIG 20. Only BIG 30.

I don't hate them I love them weddings, marriages. Magical romantic, romantic at heart
- To make them feel proud but it will only be for that one day and then what? Life still continues

- Society expectation.
Don't make it seem as if we're losing out. Those terms given to women of certain age and still unmarried.


My life story is made differently and so I'm still as how I am, getting older and still single.

I will get married one day (only God knows when) when the time comes and when I finally meet the man is that made for me just like how I am made for him in his life story.

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Back to the present 2018. 

Nothing has changed. Wait. Actually there is. I have since completed all of my modules except for 1! Like finally after so bloody long! One final retake exam for Financial Management and hopfully I'm done for school and will get to wear my gown and mortarboard and collect the scroll on stage and that's it for my studies! I just can't wait to finish school. I really believe I am of the minority group that took lesser modules each semester and thus the long and slow years to complete my studies. Some people I talk to while at school mostly seem to be graduating from school after 3 years or within 3 years.

Coming to 5 years of studies is really tiring. I would be lying if I say I didn't get the itch to just dump everything and call it quits. But it would be such a waste of money, time and effort if I did just that. I had to kept telling myself to look back and see how much progress has been made, how much money has been spent and it would be really stupid of myself if I just leave everything just because I was getting tired of the journey that never seems to be ending any soon.

Aside from studies which is progressing very well (hope and pray November will be the last time I'm taking this final paper), nothing has changed on the L.O.V.E front. Still wondering where to find love. Still waiting to meet that someone I can call my Love.

P.s. To my Encik Jodoh, are you still lost?

Quick Update - I'll send you all my love every day in a letter sealed with a kiss

Darling, I promise you this
I'll send you all my love
Every day in a letter
Sealed with a kiss



There's something magical about old love songs.. 

A little story how I came to this song.. Actually it's all thanks to dad who asked to be played this song on YouTube on afternoon. Soon after this song will be requested once in a while and thus I fell in love with the melody, the song, the words.. 

Typing "Sealed With A Kiss" into YouTube will bring about 4 different singers singing the same song with different style of their own. I listened to all four and I like Brian Hyland's rendition the most followed by Bobby Vinton's. Don't really like the other two renditions. 

There's so much love and feel to this song.. 

Initially I did get a little confuse with Seal's Kiss From A Rose. I guess the word "kiss" in both songs got to me.. 

Long Read - Love for old charm romance

My love for Bollywood and Hindi films need not be explain anymore. I've grown up watching Hindi films, recognise more people from this industry than Hollywood.

Was watching a song from An Evening In Paris, Deewane ka naam to poochho and suddenly it strike me how beautiful Sharmila Tagore looks, with her classy elegance-ness walking through Paris in a sari!

It's that feeling of being your own self, your own culture and identity to a foreign land. (This calls for another blog post, another time!)



Being me, I tweeted about this, look out for the song and it's translation (It's better to always check for translation of the song.. You'll fall in love more believe me!).

Deewane ka naam to poochho,
At least ask the name of your lover

Pyaar se dekho
Look upon him with love

Kaam to poochho
At least ask "why he is here."

Chaahe phir na milna, arre chaahe phir na milna
If you don't like don't meet afterwards

Gussa chhodo ...baat to maano
Forget anger...agree with me

Iss bande ko apna jaano
Consider this person yours

Door se dhokha haan,... ho sakta tha haan
You could habve been mistaken from far away..Yes it could

Door se dhokha ho sakta tha
You could habve been mistaken from far away

Paas ho ab to ab pehchaano
But now when I am near do recognize me

Deewane ka naam to poochho,
At least ask the name of your lover

Hat gaya aakhir bharam ka saaya
At last the shodows of illusion have disappeared

Ab samjha main ab yaad aaya
Now I understand, Now I remember

Khwaab mein tum ko aksar dekha
I often saw you in my dreams

Aaj mujjasim saamne mein paya
But it is only today I found

Deewane ka naam to poochho, ....
Atleast ask the name of your lover


Yeh paris ki shaam suhaani
It is a beautiful evening in Paris

Pyaar ki nagri... roop ki raani
City of Love... Queen of beauty

Banke rahegaa haan koyi afsana haan
Something is bound to happen

Banke rahegaa koyi afsana
Some new story will surely start

Chid ke rahegi koyi kahaani
A story is waiting to stir up

Deewane ka naam to poochho

(Song translation found @ http://www.allthelyrics.com/forum/showthread.php?t=95980. Old Melodies and Beautiful Lyrics. I can't help but agree :D)

So it's An Evening In Paris we're talking about. Of course my favourite song is Raat Ke Humsafar.



Raat Ke Humsafar brought me to this blog of Mr & Mrs 55 - Classic Bollywood Revisited, http://mrandmrs55.com/2012/12/19/raat-ke-humsafar-lyrics-and-translation-lets-learn-urdu-hindi/.

Raat ke hamsafar thak ke ghar ko chale.
Oh companion of the night, let us wander home wearily,

Jhuumtii aa rahii hai subaah pyaar kii
As the dawn of love arrives, swaying about.

Dekh kar saamne ruup kii raushnii
After encountering the light of your beauty,

Phir lutii jaa rahii hai subaah pyaar kii
the dawn of love is being stolen away.

Sonevaalon ko hans kar jagaanaa bhii hai
Those who are sleeping are to be awakened with a smile.

Raat ke jaagaton ko sulaanaa bhii hai
Those who have stayed awake tonight are to be lulled to sleep.

Detii hai jaagne kii sadaa saath hii
Though it also gives the call to awaken,

Loriyaan gaa rahii hai subaah pyaar kii
this dawn of love evokes calm by singing lullabies.

Raat ne pyaar ke jaam bhar kar diiye
The night has filled our wine goblets of love.

Aankhon aankhon se jo maine tum ne piiye
You and I drank from them with our eyes.

Hosh to ab talak jaa ke lauTe nahiin
After leaving us, our consciousness has yet to return.

Aur kyaa laa rahii hai subaah pyaar kii?
What else does this dawn of love have in store?

Kyaa kyaa vaade hue, kis ne khaayii qasam?
What promises were made tonight? Who has sworn to new vows?

Is nayii raah par ham ne rakhe qadam
Upon this new path, we have taken our first steps.

Chhup sakaa pyaar kab? Ham chhupaayen to kyaa?
When could our love be hidden? Even if we could, so what?

Sab samajh paa rahii hai subaah pyaar kii
This dawn of love is able to understand everything.

Raat ke hamsafar thak ke ghar ko chalen
Oh companion of the night, let us wander home wearily,

Jhuumtii aa rahii hai subaah pyaar kii
as the dawn of love arrives, swaying about.

I seriously do not know if it's the words, the singer's melodious voice or the romantic-ness of this song that made me fall in love with it. I can listen to it over and over and won't get bored.

Bollywood now and then is so similar yet so different. It's so hard to find a good song or fall in love with a song like old films did. Perhaps, because of the branding of Bollywood. Bollywood, a spin-off Hollywood thus more ideas are drawn, inspired from Hollywood for films nowadays. Reason, they said the younger generations and non-desi can't relate and understand the old Hindi charm, the need to be modern to follow the direction of today. They got it so wrong I'll say! I fell in love with Bollywood and hindi films because I wanted something different from Hollywood and it's no strings attached messages most films portray. Perhaps because older films are made during "Hindi films" and not Bollywood that we get to see the old charm of Hindi films.

Having said that, it's not like all Hindi films are not worth watching. There are still some good ones but it's so rare to see the old charm of Hindi old films. I just wish that the directors, producers, actors, actresses and all in the Bollywood industry will never stop producing HINDI films that is HINDI films. A few films with no nach gaana is fine but if all follow suit, Bollywood is no different than Hollywood and that would just be a huge waste.

Long Read - I don't know why but I'm feeling as if I'm in love

12.34am on a weekday. I should have been asleep by now going by how I was so sleepy earlier. Youtube-d a few songs and ended with AXL - Akulah Kekasihmu. This song is still playing in the background as I'm typing this post. Poor song has been on loop for 5 times now.

I was listening to the song and each words of it...

Itukah dia kekasih yang pernah berjanji
Memberi cinta untukmu sepenuh hati
Ia akan menyesal suatu hari nanti
Apabila ia mengetahui
Kekasihmu ini ingin kembali

Tahukah engkau ia tak sepadan denganmu
Walau beribu bisik janji ia merayu
Kekasihmu ini terlalu ingin kembali
Semenjak ia mengetahui
Kekasihmu itu membuat kau bersedih

Oh kekasihmu ini akan merasa gembira
Andai dapat bersama untuk selama-lamanya
Hanya untuk menyayangimu
Hanya untuk bercinta lagi
Andai engkau berduka
Aku yang pertama di sisi
Andai engkau bahagia
Akukan terus berdoa
Semoga suatu masa
Pintu hatimu kan terbuka
Dan kita akan kembali
Bercinta lagi

Aku akan kembali
Walau jalan berliku
Kernaku kekasihmu
Hingga ke akhir hayat

(Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/a/axls/akulah_kekasih_mu.html)

Those words in bold left quite a deep impression on my mind and my heart and it makes me slightly emotional. Tiba-tiba aku bayangkan betapa indahnya kata-kata ini jika diucapkan sang kakasih hati. Bayangkan si dia mengatakan kepada diri ini bagaimana dia akan sanggup untuk bersusah payah untuk bersama selama-lamanya.. Kan so sweet gitu..!

I am fully aware that this full song has the meaning that the lover is still wishing to be with someone they love though the other party may have found someone else. So what I have describe in the sentence above refers to only part of the song that are in bold.

I do not know why but hearing the words over and over again it is as though I am in love. Sometimes I wonder myself why certain songs like Don't Speak, No Doubt or Someone Like You, Adele can have a deep impression on me as if I have gone through the heartbreak and all. Luckily for me I am still spared the heartbreaking experience..

I wonder when I will ever meet you....Will there ever be a chance of us meeting on the street as what I had secretly wish for. Just like a scene from a book or the film where we might just bump into each other and the next thing you know we are madly in love with one another...

Keeping the hope that one day maybe one day we might meet..

Long Read - Arranged Marriage, Love Marriage.. Or Both?

The title of this post sounds like a good book title, doesn't it? I've always dreamt of writing my own books, specifically novels. But it has never materialise. I did try writing but it always hang on the first sentence, that's it. No continuation, don't know how to develop the story. In conclusion, I think I just lack the energy to write and think.

Coming back to the title post of this blog, yeah so love marriage, arranged marriage or both? Definitely most of us would prefer a love marriage, marrying someone whom we have known and fallen in love with.

Not sure if arranged marriage happens only in certain communities.. I am a Bollywood lover so somehow my idea of romance is influenced by the love stories I grew up watching. Nevertheless, I am standing on reality ground so I know if what I am being presented actually happens or if it is all made-up to create one nice lovely love story. There is this particular film Chori Chori Chupke Chupke (my most handsome man, Salman Khan plays the main character) in which the two main characters, Raj Malhotra (Salman Khan) and Priya (Rani Mukherjee) after meeting each other at a wedding, met again after their families arranged for each other to meet. As Raj already has feelings for Priya when he first saw her at the wedding, agrees to marry Priya who share the same feelings. Therefore, their marriage seems like a love and arranged marriage to me.



Actually, it is hard to say if one will have a long-lasting marriage be it a love or arranged. Some movies show individuals refusing to the arranged marriage, choosing love that they had chose themselves. Others who go through arranged marriage will suffer in their marriage etc etc. It will be unfair to justify what I said to what is being depicted in the movies. They are afterall entertainment and are of fictional characters. But then again, some of these so-called fictional characters might sometimes be inspired by actual non-fiction person(s).

Anyways, since we are on the topic of love, I can't resist myself from writing about this one man I am totally in love with and for so long.. None other than Mr Khan, Salman Khan! Haha! I'm gonna read this post in like 5 years time and hopefully my love for him will still be strong just like how it is now. I like and love him so very much. Yeah our love is near to impossible but there is nothing wrong in liking someone like him right? Afterall he is an actor and a very handsome and talented actor at that (I might be biased and praised him but who cares!) Was watching the song from Main Aur Mrs Khanna earlier and I just could not stop gushing smiling to myself the whole time the song was playing. He is so handsome I can't stop saying so!! I do sometimes lookup guys on the street but so far there isn't one that can come across as handsome as him. Like the beanie he is wearing in this picture. Some guys wear them but they look kinda weird or trying to hard.. Salman can be wearing formal, informal, casual but he just looks handsome in all. Yeah, at times he does not look good.. Like this Main Aur Mrs Khanna, most of the time he looks sick to me.. So in my loving him, I do not love him blindly. There are times I wish he could be better etc. He is my eternal Prem.. Hehehe