Long Read - Different Directions

Current year - 2018

Checked the draft box and saw there are 2 posts that were not published.
Did a quick read on the 2 posts and somewhat it talks about similar topic: Marriage & Settling Down.

Instead of cracking my brain to come up with more content, why don't I just combine both of them! Such a brilliant and smart idea :-)

I can't remember exactly how long ago I had drafted both posts but my instinct is telling me it could be easily 2 years ago. One major hint is there was an assignment due but being the clever person that I am, I came on blogspot to type away instead of utilizing the brain for the more urgent task on hand.

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1st Draft Post


Assignments.. Assignments.. Assignments..

As I'm typing this, I'm listening to Alyah's Kisah Hati (love her dresses in this MV, Remy!!) Alright enough of the sidetrack :)

Actually my brain is stopping its supposed task of continuous typing for an assignment due this Friday. 750 words and I'm only 130 words done. Still a long way to go I know..
Yet, I need to stop as it's past 1am plus I'm working tomorrow plus I really need to sleep. So why am I still typing here?!

Actually, it just came to my mind that at this stage most of my peers including cousins whom are settling down while there are a few waiting anxiously to be a new mom/dad. Yet, here I am chasing books, assignments, attending night classes. So it dawned on me that the pathway we chose, I chose and am currently on actually, seem to be different from the rest.

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2nd Draft Post


Been thinking about this lately. Not often but sometimes this thought does visit me time and then especially since I'm getting older..

Reaching 30 in couple of years. The BIG 30. Not sure what is so big about it actually.
Never heard of the BIG 20. Only BIG 30.

I don't hate them I love them weddings, marriages. Magical romantic, romantic at heart
- To make them feel proud but it will only be for that one day and then what? Life still continues

- Society expectation.
Don't make it seem as if we're losing out. Those terms given to women of certain age and still unmarried.


My life story is made differently and so I'm still as how I am, getting older and still single.

I will get married one day (only God knows when) when the time comes and when I finally meet the man is that made for me just like how I am made for him in his life story.

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Back to the present 2018. 

Nothing has changed. Wait. Actually there is. I have since completed all of my modules except for 1! Like finally after so bloody long! One final retake exam for Financial Management and hopfully I'm done for school and will get to wear my gown and mortarboard and collect the scroll on stage and that's it for my studies! I just can't wait to finish school. I really believe I am of the minority group that took lesser modules each semester and thus the long and slow years to complete my studies. Some people I talk to while at school mostly seem to be graduating from school after 3 years or within 3 years.

Coming to 5 years of studies is really tiring. I would be lying if I say I didn't get the itch to just dump everything and call it quits. But it would be such a waste of money, time and effort if I did just that. I had to kept telling myself to look back and see how much progress has been made, how much money has been spent and it would be really stupid of myself if I just leave everything just because I was getting tired of the journey that never seems to be ending any soon.

Aside from studies which is progressing very well (hope and pray November will be the last time I'm taking this final paper), nothing has changed on the L.O.V.E front. Still wondering where to find love. Still waiting to meet that someone I can call my Love.

P.s. To my Encik Jodoh, are you still lost?