It somehow struck me when I faintly heard her saying, “It’s not her priority right now”. “Its” referring to me finding my +1 and eventually settling down and naturally having my own child.
I was randomly thinking how I would have a 12 years old child if I had become a mother when I was 22 years old and how I might have a 4/5 years old child if I had become a mother after the age of 27 years old.
Lately, I’ve also been thinking of how our finance never seems enough.
The usual want versus need. Even without spending much on myself and simply
taking care of basic things, I need around $2K for this expenses. Was thinking if
I would have enough savings by the time I turn 55 years old. Would I have enough
to stop worrying about money and work only when I want to and not because I need
to?
How long would the fund lasts me? Would I need to scrimp and
be frugal all the time or I would be able to enjoy life, eat at cafes, buy this
and that without having to mentally calculate how much balance I would have
left in the bank?
I marveled at those around my age whom are married and have
children. I wonder how they cope financially. But to each their own.
Probably this is my rezeki right now. To spend time for my
family and for my own self.
How apt that a random song is playing and the words seems to call out to me:
"These battle scars, don't look like they're fading. Don't look like they're ever going away
They ain't never gonna change. These battle"